.:: J.Inxed B.Itch ::.

2004-04-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

http://nina-kinky.blogspot.com

2004-04-18T20:59:00.000+08:00

PEOPLE!! WHOEVER READING!!

I HAVE MOVED.. .

2004-04-18T02:27:00.000+08:00

don't always assume that i'm gonna be here for you whenever you turn around.
not after that. . .not after this.
thank you for all the happiness . . .and . . .hurt. . .and tears. Thank you a million. I will never fall again. never. not like i did with you.

2004-04-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

all welled up inside. forever allowing my thoughts to rule me. How stupid. That's for being emotionless and careless half my life. I'm sure I'm not making a mistake this time round. This to me, isnt about jealousy or money. Never. I'm unsure myself what it exactly is. Strangely awkward. It feels all fuzzy inside..my tummy...my chest...all fuzzed up..like my organs there are being clamped up...it feels like i've welled up 18 years of tears in there.. .it aint nice.

then again. . i dont wanna fall asleep. . .cos i'm afraid nightmares might haunt. i'm afraid of my own damn dreams.
I dont wanna stay awake cos i'm too intimidated by my own thoughts and daydreams. . .
Sometimes i just wanna drop dead. . .that too i'm afraid of. . .
So mindlessly afraid of the simplest and dainty things.

Who am i again??

2004-04-15T12:37:00.000+08:00

KIDMAN!!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMMIT KIDMAN!!!!!!!!!!! I MISS YA!!! WE'VE GOTTA HANG OUT!!!!!!!! CALL ME OR SUMTING!!!

2004-04-15T12:36:00.000+08:00

Punk! My kind of friend. You could care less what
other ppl think of you. You want friends who
like you for who you are and not what you have.
I mean, sure, sometimes you stick fries up your
nose, but thats ok. People love you because you
crack them up immensly! Your amoung friends!
Rate my quiz fellow Homie!

Are you one of the three P's? (Punk/Prep/Poser)?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-04-15T12:34:00.000+08:00

You're addicted to.....

Nothing!
Your addicted to nothing at all? Well..... ok I
guess thats a good thing but come on just think
of the possibilities!

What are you addicted to? (pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-04-15T12:29:00.000+08:00

Yup, You have what it takes..Lucky you

Do You Have What it Takes to Be A Goth?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-04-15T12:25:00.000+08:00

when promises are unforsaken. . .
that's when you'll know the truth.
when unpleasantries are bygones. . .
that's when you'll believe the truth.
when silence speaks for itself. . .
that's when you'll trust the truth.

-k.i.n.k.y-

2004-04-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

i neva knew ppl like dat exists. a liar who fronts so fuckin well. so fuckin well. this is stupid. . .jeopardising your own fucking family aint gonna do u any fuckin good. jeopardising ur own fuckin life...now that's insane. ur behaviour is so psychotic. not even a shrink or medication or wateva could help u. wake up and smell the damn coffee gerl. this is life..life is never fair. either u win or u lose. either u get ur way or ur way gets at u. that's jus life. it aint a smooth ride. n that aint wat life's all about. seriously. . . life jus isnt about keeping score. . .never underestimate those who u scar. cos karma comes back to u hard.

2004-03-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

dead. i'm so dead. i'm practically digging my own grave. sheesh. fucked up skul.

ppl. . .ahahahah....ppl..crap i'm cracking myself up..ahahhahaha..ahahahaha..ahhahahahahahaha....stop me.aahahaaha
so yeah..ahahha..i actually wanna talk abt ppl. .. hhahahahah...god dammit!! i cant stop...ahhahahahhahahahhaaha
well i'll...ahhahahahhaah keep it short....ppl u crack me up..ahahhahhahahha!!!!!!!!!!

all kinda ppl. the CINA, the MAMA, the MATS, the MINAHS, the ahahhahahahhah.ahhahahahahahhahaahaahahhaha nvm.

2004-03-19T21:42:00.000+08:00

numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
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numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb
numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb numb

2004-03-19T21:39:00.000+08:00

ur love, unconditional.
ur presence, needed.
ur touch, ur smile, ur scent, ur kisses, u - missed.
the memories, forever remains.
Our promises, Unforsaken. . . I pray . . .

2004-03-19T03:32:00.000+08:00

My heart aches and I need painkillers for it. It hurts so bad. Feeling extremely numb and overly lost. Tell me it's all just a bad dream. Please. Why do this to me? Why do this to yourself? I'm lost. . . .pick me back up. please. but i'm not forcing. i'm not begging. i'm just waiting. i'm left wondering. i'm left lost. take this feeling away please. i cant help but cry. i cant help but reminisce. i cant help but think of u. u. u. u. how am i suppose to go on like this? where does this lead me to? how do i live now? without you. . .

2004-03-18T23:34:00.000+08:00

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Activity Level	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Excitement-Seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Enthusiasm	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Trust	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Modesty	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Confidence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Neatness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Achievement	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Self-Discipline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Volatility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Depression	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Self-Consciousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Impulsiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Vulnerability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Liberalism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

2004-03-18T23:23:00.000+08:00

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Wat u want...u know i got it.
Wat u need...baby u know i got...
R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out wat it means to me.. .

2004-03-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

sheesh~ paranoid over wat again? wat? i guess i allow my imagination to run too wild. i get so much...too much assurance from you. but i'm still so insecured. sometimes only though. so i remind myself again...i'm only 17. I've still got a whole lot of stuff to experience...a whole lot of other shit to get into. I'll never regret but i'll never turn back. That's a promise i made to myself. A promise i've kept practically all my life. . . again. i'm in need of solace and time alone. i need space to think n rethink. to imagine and explore. i've set my life to no boundaries...so is my imagination n wild fantasies.

i need meditation. i need time. i need alone-ness.

I jus need to clear my head n get this shit over skul! god! skul....skul...skul..i've not exactly been there..
i mean i'm there physically but not mentally...my mind's always straying...always thinking..

I HAVE TO FOCUS!!! FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!!!

2004-03-09T00:33:00.000+08:00

An Interview

1. If and when u lose/lost ur virginity would u go to the highest mountain n howl?

I did not. -

2. Name one superpower that you would want to have, other than glowing eyes?

Only one?...but i want all of em'. please-

3. Do you believe in magic?

Hell yeah. enuf said.

4. If u had to choose between a death so excrutiatingly painful or suicide, which would u rather?

i want to die a glamorous death!

5. When are you going to grow up?

2004-03-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

The World Was Yours! What Happened??? by Demonac
Name
Abused your power by	Testing nuclear weapons (but only on unpopular countries)
Until	Strom Thurmond's mummy
...	Invalidated your society's primary brainwashing tool by having the people read Nietzsche.
And adding insult to injury	They named a new Teletubby after you.
But now, after all that, you are	collecting social security checks from the very fools who deposed you.
(How did you conquer?)	Try "The World Is MINE!" MEME to find out!

Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

2004-03-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Courage
In a survival situation, you:	Run like hell
Your hidden talent is:	Seeing the best in others
Your gift is:	Vast knowledge
In groups, you:	Act as host/ess
Your best quality is:	Your abundant energy
Your weakness is:	Your furious temper

Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

2004-03-09T00:06:00.000+08:00

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
Username
The quality that most appeals to you:	Courage
In a survival situation, you:	Fight, and enjoy it
Your hidden talent is:	Seeing the best in others
Your gift is:	Fearlessness
In groups, you:	Play an organisational role
Your best quality is:	Your sensuality
Your weakness is:	Your lack of sensitivity

Created with quill18's MemeGen 3.0!

2004-03-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

i'm so not hot. hell yeah i noe dat. so stop lookin at me like that. do i have an xtra ass growin down there? god! imperfection...i'm too in love with imperfection. i need paints, brushes and many canvases. choked. so tightly suffocated. what is this that i'm feelin? oh i so noe that ord....no need to remind me of my unhotness or uncuteness or my ugliness....get that from my parents everyday. thank u mama n papa for reminding me....everyday... mayb cos i'm malay...and not RICH. but who cares. no wait..i'm not malay..am i? or am i not? who cares...i'm grounded...i noe i am.

-i'm not perfect & not without sin but all childish things end-

2004-03-07T22:17:00.000+08:00

6 MTHS & RAWKING BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy! I'm so overwhelmed! I'm so thankful!

2004-03-05T21:35:00.000+08:00

kill....

baby...i am so sorry for walkin away like that at CB the other day. I tried not to look at you..but i jus had to. I am sorry. Ur stil my fren..i still love you. i still treasure our friendship. but i hate u for lovin that faggot. god! bcos of that crack-arsed drag whore....our friendship is wounded! Does the 3ks even mean anything to u? What about all our dreams n plans?? What about those??? Are those lies too? U sacrificed all that for that bitch. U sacrificed US. It's fucked up to think that u'd go to that extent. so fucked up. how could u?? u were so over him...so i thought...so we thought...ur jus full of lies...now...i'm sorry...really...sorry for u....
and no...i'm not mad at u nor kidman...nope. i jus cant stand that whore...god. of all ppl. there are so many other pleasant gays out der. why no why? yes...u keep saying ur confused. mayb u still are. mayb ur still lying to urself. i noe u hav a mighty high sex drive...god..i noe. but...but..argh fuck...who the fuck am i to judge u?? i'm oni a friend...not animore i think..
i'm not adiemus...oni he/she has the fuckin right to judge u n degrade u and make u feel like shit. again.. who the fuck am i to say? ur to busy with the lies he sold u.....i'm very sorry. but dearest...i'm still here for u. i'll always be here for u...
and kidman too. i'll never forget u..the times we had together...the dreams we planned together... and the shit we got into together....i'll never forget... n yeah... the 3ks album...i'll pass it to you when its done... i love u dearest fren. u can call me up anytime u wish to. i'm not here to diss u...i'm here when u need me....if ever u need me...that is...

-kinky

2004-03-05T21:28:00.000+08:00

why? why do u always fuck things up? why do I always fuck things up too? i'm starting to feel that we're not meant to be. that we're not meant to last....make me think otherwise please. i dont wanna lose you. ur the bestest thing that has ever happened to me. stop makin me despise u any further. who the fuck am i? what the fuck am i? i'm not perfect n not without sin. but all childish things end. . .please. -nina

2004-02-25T10:46:00.000+08:00

As fucked up as this may seem, I'll never give up..I'll never stop trying. There is so much that a person can stand such shit. I've held back for quite some time now. I'm a walking time bomb...only that the clock's ticking real s-l-o-w. U lucky arse. Yea shit happens...but it wont happen if prevented ain't it. It wont happen if u've had controlled ur damn feelings. Nyeh!
-nina

2004-02-21T20:00:00.000+08:00

I don't deserve nothing now. NOTHING!!!! God Dammit!!! Fuck myself for screwing everything up. FUCK FUCK FUCK. I am Jinxed. I was born jinxed! I shall disappear now. Go on lead your life. Lead your unreal, make belieave, obsessed life the way you've always had. -

2004-02-21T19:34:00.000+08:00

Is this what it all comes down to?

I've never asked and I've never force. I'm certainly never gonna beg. Justice...wat fuck is that? This is reality. This is how fucked up it is...how cruel, unfair and selfish it is. The game's obsolete....but we're still losing. Where is the finishing line? Your death is. Or just mere silence. . .

2004-02-15T18:20:00.000+08:00

Prepare me a warm, cammomille scented bubble bath at the Ritz. Drown me in tequila and whiskey. Only candles and my smile beaming. Soft hints of smooth jazz lingering. Serve me strawberries and chocolate fondue. Rose petals scattered carelessly on the soft white linen. Mesmerize me, undoing this white silk robe. Swoon me til the dawn breaks. Over and over. -kinky

i hate roses. tulips...white tulips. . .

2004-02-14T21:56:00.000+08:00

U got me lifted, shifted, feeling so gifted. Suga suga how u get so fly~~

god!!! today was fuckin surprise. thank you so much for being the sweetest thing. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. Cut it short aight....spent the whole day on his bed. I could go on forever. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-02-14T21:40:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MUTHAFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-02-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

Dear BLOOD,

Nothing seems to be the truth anymore now innit? Sometimes silence is the best answer. But don't make me resort to numbness. I can't help it if you won't believe me. I won't bother to convince you. I'm not in any kind of precariousness. Since everything I say is a fib to you then i won't say no more. You people are the ones who groomed me. You people fucking figure me out yourselves. Thank you for making me this much stronger. I am overwhelmed. -juni-

2004-02-08T13:24:00.000+08:00

Juliet The Orange - Quizzical

I don't even comb my hair
When I wake up in the morning
I've always been like that
My clothes are on the floor
And I just don't have the time
To put them back

La Di Dat Dat Da...La Di Dat Dat Da.

Is this what you truly want for a girlfriend
Or am I just someone you find
Pretty cute for a good time
Don't go breaking my heart
I think very deeply
And I hold very dearly from the start

So why do you still love me?

I'm so useless in the kitchen
And my cuisine is lousy
It makes you want to curl
My toes are awfully huge
And I'm not just the stuff that makes a girl

La Di Dat Dat Da . .La Di Dat Da Da

Pardon me I'm quizzical
Pardon me but I'm quizzical
Pardon me I'm quizzical
Ooooohhhhh

I don't even call you baby
'Cause that's what I call my dog
It would have sounded funny and so strange
Don't expect me to be crawling over you
For maybe I am just a poor unromantic
Why do you still love me?
So why do you still love me?

2004-02-08T13:20:00.000+08:00

Mum jus transfered 100bucks into my bank acc. For no reason! WEird aint it. It's the menopause i tell ya. I dont mind... Transfer more please...

2004-02-08T13:19:00.000+08:00

5 mths & RAWKING BABY!!!

2004-02-07T00:44:00.000+08:00

I'm farking bored. BOB!! I wanna dye my fringe RED. I'm so jealous of ur PiNk fringe! I oso wanna pierce my belly. Urs look so nice. . .I wanna get my eyebrows pierced again. .but how do i hide it from my farked up parents?!?!? If only. . .If only. . God! I hav to call up that old fren. I badly need him to curse the daylights outta them. Blind them. . .nyeh. I ain't gettin married till like. . .I dunnoe when. I cant wait that long . . .

2004-02-03T13:16:00.000+08:00

You are a HIT MAN: In the high ranks of the mafia..
Loves to see people die and get paid
watching...

MAFIA
brought to you by Quizilla

Nyahahhahaha!!!!!

2004-02-03T13:14:00.000+08:00

You're a trumpet.... can't say much about you
except that your section has one of the biggest
egos in the band, and you value high notes far
too much for your own good.

What Instrument Should You Play?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-02-01T23:41:00.000+08:00

src="http://test3.thespark.com/ba/bitch55.gif"
border="0">

ahhh crap..the pic aint showing. neways i took the bitch test and i'm 55% Bitchy. The average is 38%.

2004-02-01T23:34:00.000+08:00

src="http://test3.thespark.com/sa/slut35.gif"
border="0">

nyehehee...I a 35% slutty. Lower than the average . . i cant remember how many percent though.

2004-01-31T21:31:00.000+08:00

Had a dream of ME gettin married. . the groom. i hav no idea who. weird. all i can say is that...it was BEAUTIFUL. but dreams dont usually come true , now do they? . . .

I am now badly in need of intellectual intercourse. I have to understand myself deeper. god. i need books. i need poetry. i need deep thinking. M-A-S-K put ur mask on just to make the next day. Aint frontin' when i'm wif u though. Ur too precious. too fragile.

2004-01-30T00:54:00.000+08:00

uncontrollably overwhelmed by ur presence. conciously falling deeper. the sweetest thing oh the sweetest thing. this feeling. . .unvanishing.

2004-01-29T12:28:00.000+08:00

You are an Ink Pen. Pens are interesting people.
They are complex and have an individual and
unique thought process. They look beyond the
ordinary, and people know you for you
creativity. You probably like to write, or
express your creativness in things such as
drama, poetry, writng lyrics, or just
pondering. Pens are complex, smart people, who
have good potential.

What random object are you? Many detailed outcomes - find out about your personality!
brought to you by Quizilla

HAH! I'm a PEn?!?!? Make that a Mont Blanc one aight!

2004-01-29T12:07:00.000+08:00

You are a slave

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

AHAHHAHAHAAHAH!!!!! I'm a farking SluT!!!!

2004-01-29T12:02:00.000+08:00

Hecate

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-29T11:56:00.000+08:00

You are Mario. You're pretty good-all-around.
You're most of the time the hero, and you don't
get too hung up in it...just try and let others
get a little spot-light too, k? (plz rate)

What Nintendo Charater are You? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

emotionless franticism. . .

2004-01-24T12:12:00.000+08:00

Like me you are totally in love.You try to hide it
but you cant.You are nice and pritty in your
own way and you are a bit of a daydreamer.Have
fun and please rate my quiz....If you want to
talk to me on AOL or AIM my SN is:Fire moon190

Are you in love?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-24T12:09:00.000+08:00

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-24T11:19:00.000+08:00

Hendrix. . .

Never had Vodka Sprite n Bourbon Coke so farkin diluted b4. Had fun though. Great Company & Music. We'll do it again some time soon aight guys. When i hav the MONAY!!! Den it'll be CHIVAS baby and lotsa DiRtY dAnCinG. A promise aight.

2004-01-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

The Beach [ECP]. Smirnoff [VODKA BABY]. 12 men TENT. BBQ. Bikini.

My recluse from all these insanities. My only escape from reality.

2004-01-20T22:08:00.000+08:00

My baby don't mess around 'cos he loves me so & I noe for 'sho~~~ Hey Ya~~~~ Heyyyyyy Yaaaa~~~~

Shake it. Shake it. Shake it. Shake it like a polaraoid picture~~

HAH!!! I'm so badly in need of money. Practically signed up with like wat. . .ehmm...7 tuition agencies. . .Hope i get an assignment soon. PLEASE!!!! I want monay. So much to settle, so much needs n stuff.

1.) Debts (nut, naz, ning)
2.) Mastercard
3.) New shoes!!! More Shoes!!
4.) KL AGAIN!!
5.) Retail Theraphy (yes. this is absolutely Mandatory!!!)

2004-01-19T10:55:00.000+08:00

I am in this fucked up mood whereby i dunno shit bout wats happenin in skul. This is so not good. I need to get thru this fuckin semester if not no car for me. . . I badly need & want a car. A volkswagen please. Mama I want that beetle bug please. Then u can kindky increase my allowance and transfer MORE into my account. So when I do get that beetle baby I can hav it spray painted n modified. I'm thinking Red Interior. Reddish + Pinkish exterior with butterfly stencillings at the sides. Wohohohohohohoho!!! HELL NO!!! I want a BLACK & WHITE BEETLE BABY!!!!! Ol' Skul is the way to go!!!

2004-01-19T10:49:00.000+08:00

u are totally a princess and everyone loves u

Are u a princess
brought to you by Quizilla

Told u guys so didn't I??!?!? I am ROYALTY. I surely am a PRINCESS. Hail me. C'mon.

2004-01-19T10:44:00.000+08:00

Classy

What type of person are u
brought to you by Quizilla

I AM CLASSY. I SO AM!!!

2004-01-19T00:36:00.000+08:00

Overwhelmed.

Truly am.
I love you. I love you. I love you.

2004-01-18T15:10:00.000+08:00

You're my HoT StuFf Baby yA KnOW~

2004-01-18T15:08:00.000+08:00

Nightmare Before Christmas!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-18T15:04:00.000+08:00

Idol

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-18T14:43:00.000+08:00

A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
sports. Reality sucks, but as long as you have
your electronics you feel you can cope. Time
goes unnoticed when youre locked in your room
hooked up to your Nintendo, rocking to your
favourite collection of guitar-driven albums.
Your virtues: Intelligence, sense-of-humour,
individuality.
Your flaws: Inability to cope with real life,
action-freak spirit, reclusive nature.

Ever wanted your picture taken with a famous
celebrity? Well why not fake it? Go here:
www.freekart.cjb.net

What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-18T14:35:00.000+08:00

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-16T18:20:00.000+08:00

Sheesha~~ I like. . .

i'm in pain that's all that i can say.

2004-01-13T21:52:00.000+08:00

deep n slow. . .dats the way.

Let's put the pills to the test. ehehehhehe.

2004-01-13T13:51:00.000+08:00

Mercilon. . .

I've been put on Family Planning pills @ Oral Contraceptive Pills. HAH!!!! This is so freaking weird. Get this...

Adverse effects of mercilon : Breasts - pain, enlargement, tenderness. HAHAHAHA!!!!! like chicken breast sia!!! god! this is quirky man. Oh ya then i had a short talk with the Doc.

Me: What are the side effects of the pills?
Doc: U afraid u might gain weight huh? No worries these pills wont make u any heavier.
Me: Ok kewl
Doc: The pills prevent pregnancies too....that means u wont get pregnant..
Me: Huh?!
Mum: * looks at me with "The Eyes"*
Doc: But don't try it though
Me: Yea...ok...hhhmmmmmm *scratches chin*

2004-01-11T19:05:00.000+08:00

stuff me with norah jones. dark chocolates. tequila. put me in a deluxe room at the plaza. i'll slip into a silk night dress. light up those scented candles. prepare me a warm bubble bath in that jacuzzi. pour me more alcohol. caress me. slow. breathe. undo me. breathe. slow.

2004-01-11T13:50:00.000+08:00

thee. . .

I crave for thee . . . hah! i'm readin romeo + juliet's play.

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

Sweet, so would I:
Yet I should kill thee with much cherishing.
Good night, good night! parting is such
sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow

2004-01-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

Unpretentious...I am.
This is me now. This is me then. This is me anyhow. I was me. I am me. I shall be me. Either way I still am.

I love thee. . .

Withdrawal. Pray for me dear frens. Pray hard that I am well and free of any death ridden diseases. please. Thank you. Death awaits everyone. I just dont wanna noe when I'm going. I fear blood, death, wateva's up there & down there, heartbreaks & beliefs. WooSaA~~

2004-01-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

I think I'm gettin good at this computer shit stuff. Scary. Had 2 freakin sticks of the lung damaging-stress reliever thingy @ cigarettes. Only 2!!! Fucking achievement!!! HAH! I'm a GOOD girl. Not at all times though...hmph. I'll shut up now. Go to sleep bitch. Good nite world. Good nite good ppl. Good nite fans. Princess needs her royal rest now. Shoo~

2004-01-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

Demure
HAH! I so am!!! God dammit..y cant i jus fuckin do it?? god! WooSaA~~

2004-01-08T10:45:00.000+08:00

4 mths & rawking baby!!!

2004-01-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

Addicted.

HAH! Gimme summore screwdriver baby!!! Dance baby DAnCE!!! HAh! I'm high on chocolate.

2004-01-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

I am badly in need of Intellectual Intercourse.

Dont ask how. dont ask why. I'm going thru an unsual phase now. Been havin bizzare cravings. chocolate's one of 'em but that's not as kooky as craving for red cherries now. Not only that. . .i'm craving for pizza. an xtra large one with lotsa beef! hah! i'm craving for A&W rootbeer float & curly fries. hah! Steak wif a dose of that sauce from Modestos! hah! Screwdriver, tequila pop, whiskey dry & chivas!!! hah! I want that chicken chop i ate at the m'sian highway restaurant! hah! I want mushroom soup from coffee club xpress. HAH! I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Someone please make me happy!!! PLease!

2004-01-01T04:06:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year 3ks!
Thank you so much for grieving with me. Thank you for spending time though not physically with me. Thank you for listening. U guys are really my saviour.

2004-01-01T03:59:00.000+08:00

Un-needed Solitariness.

What the FUCK am I doin at home on New Years'??? Why the FUCK am I at home, in my pjs n swollened eyed. I could hav simply walked out & hav fun but instead I am here. why? Cos all I wanted was to spend this time with you but NO. . no. . I didnt get that. I am fuckin alone, crying my fucking eyes out...listening to songs with angst-ridden lyrics. why? Cos I'm here without you. These are the simple things that I wouldnt ask for cos I expect you to fucking know it urself. But NO!! I'm fuckin at home brooding over I dont know what. . And I wanna thank you for starting off my year with such an ironic impact. I am in deja vu now. Two fucking times. Two bloody fucking times. THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! I am greatly honoured by your overwhelming ego. Thank you for making me feel useless. Thank you for making me feel so sucky. Thank you for making me cry...again. THANK YOU!!! I cant seem thank you enough. .......................................... and when I ask what's wrong....nothing's ever wrong aint it. I'm not stupid. I'm not emotionless. I'm not immatured. Even though i cant see through you...i noe sumthing's up. And if u cant talk to me or even tell me wats wrong den how the fuckin hell am i supposed to fuckin calm down now??? U tell me.

2003-12-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

Solitary Thoughts.

It's so fucked up that u use that tone. Tolerance.
It's so fucked up that u dont pay attention. Tolerance.
It's even fucked up that I'm the one who feels all the sh*t here cos maybe I'm the Female. Think about it. We both have EGOs. But yours is too way up at times. . .I will lash out. When will I see you again? Always looking forward to tomorrow yet always afraid...always cautious. . .always mellowing.

2003-12-29T12:08:00.000+08:00

I wanna PARTY on New Years' Eve.
I wanna get DRUNK on New Years' Eve.
I wanna DANCE till my knees go weak on New Years' Eve.

I need alcohol. . . badly need alcohol. . . This is turnin ugly. . too fucking ugly. . Remember. .we're not supposed to let anything get in the way of the 3Ks!!! Someone please make me happy...someone please make me laugh. . .

2003-12-29T11:53:00.000+08:00

Manic Confusion of the 3Ks

HAH! Bought myself Alanis Morissete's Jagged Little Pill, Soul Moods - Various Artists & Tribute to Iron Maiden - Iron Maiden Greatest Hits for a freakin $15!!!!!!!!! Cash Converters is the best place to find those kinda indie rock, alternative retro, soul train kinda shit. Shall drop by CC every end of the month now. . .

2003-12-27T02:48:00.000+08:00

My Alanis Morissete's Suppossed FOrmer Infatuation Junkie album is MISSING!!!! THe horror..oh the horror!!!

oh the things i've done for you many a stitch a friend a man's been left for you oh the books i've read for you the tongues i've bitten for you many a new city for you many a RISK taken for you (not a single regret).

you know how much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend sometime alone to fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't always have to be about you i've been wanting your undivided attention.

i'm too tired to recount the unplesantries one by one minute i want to banish you the next i want to be on a deserted island with you along with my 3 favourite cd's ambivalent yet in your bed we've yet to acknowledge wat really happened.

whether with or without you

i had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged.

hopeful you are. naive you are. driven you are. precocious you are. headstrong you are. ahead of your time you are. resilient you are. ruthless you are. PRECIOUS you are.

2003-12-26T17:36:00.000+08:00

MY ASS IS LIKE WOAH!!!!!!
Fuck. I'm fucking losing myself. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Watever happened to all my eccentricity? Still hanging on to watever's left of my obviously non-existent sanity. Fuck. HaH! I am not cute! HAH! And ya to that Fucked up MAKCIK wif ur two fat ass SONS who fucking said i hav no fucking ass. Fuck ya'll man. My arse is jus F-I-N-E aight. So fucking fine that ur arse + ur two blubber arse sons + ur MOthER'S SAGGY arse + uR husbAND'S non-viRgin GaY ARse cant match up to mine aight! Even if my arse aren't that fine why wud my bf be groping at 'em. So fuck ur saggy, pruney, wrinkly arse Makcik!!! U'll need some liposuction and butt silicons urself! Den i wudnt mind u callin me fucked up names vintage-geisha-looking bitch! U fucking boyan!!!

2003-12-26T16:26:00.000+08:00

WoOoSaAa~

Watch me drop, drop, shake it for the fellahs who know
Watch me pop, pop my ass as I dip and roll
Watch me stop, stop traffic as I walk through the room
Knowin all the papi's want me but all I want is you

HAH! I am for real ya'll!!!

Emptily contempted. Uncontrollably in Love. Carelessly free. The irony of my Forbidden Freedom. . .

2003-12-26T01:13:00.000+08:00

WoOoSAaa~ wOoOsAAa~

HAH! Back from BAngkok!!! All i did was shop, shop n shop!!!
Oh ya.. .stayed at a fucking spooky hotel.

Stuff I learned from this trip:-

1. Never ever sleep with all the lights off in a hotel room! NEVER! Esp in Thailand.

2. Always, ALWAYS draw the shower curtain of hotel room toilets! Esp in THailand.

3. Shopping in Bangkok is the BEST!!! Nothing beats bangkok man! I am so gg der again.

4. RESPECT Thailand. [shall not go into detail]

5. Kop Khun Ka = Thank You, Lok Noi Ka = Can less?, Mak Pai = Too Expensive, Hong Num = Toilet.

6. Holidays wif family arent really holidays. . .more like horrordays. Everything's restricted.

7. Again. . .I so so hav to visit bangkok again. For some retail theraphy.

See ya again BAngkok!!!

2003-12-20T13:18:00.000+08:00

I need alcohol [chivas pls!!], ciggs [sampoerna int pls] & monay!!!!

All my bags are packed, i'm readyu to go
I'm standing here outside ur door
I hate to wake u up to say gdbye
But the dawn is breaking it's early morn
The taxi's waiting he's blowing his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me & smile for me
Tell me that u'll wait for me
Hold me like u'll neva let me go

Cos I'm leaving on a jetplane
Dont noe when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go. . .

HAH!!! Off to Bangkok, Thailand for my next shopping trip!
I love ya MUM!!!

Oh ya. . whoever actually bothers to read my blog,
pls do leave me a msg on my tagboard.

2003-12-19T00:26:00.000+08:00

MaYbE GoD WaNtS Us To MeeT A FeW WrOnG PeOPLe
BeFOrE MeeTiNg tHe RigHt OnE,
So ThaT WheN We FinaLLy MEet ThE PeRson,
We WiLL KnOw HoW To Be GrATefUL. . .
Hhmmmmm. . . that kinda got me thinking. . .hhmmmmm .. .

WooT Woot!! Got back from KL yesterday. Had a great time!!! [minus FUZz].
Did lotsa shopping. .walkin. . shoppin..gorgin. .drinkin.smokin..drinkin...drinkin...drinkin!!! HAH!

Stuff i have learnt fr this KL trip:

1. My sis is attached to the WRONG guy! I'm so sure bout this!! So fuckin sure!! He reminds me of DAD!!
Don't u see it nad...how can u actually believe all that stuff?? HAH! So much for his talent.. . for lying.

2. FUZZ [my sis's bf] is FUCKED UP! Riiiiiitttteeee.....and i went skating on the Himalayas! C'mon for real!
Fuckin stop frontin!!!

3. Malaysian ciggs though cheap is very much harmful!

4. Alcohol is freaking cheap there. . .

5. Clubs in KL are like WOAH! Seriously. . tell me..which bar/club in SG gives away free margaritas, tequila shots &
tequila pops all night long!! Tell me!!

6. There's gonna be a ZOUK in KL very soon.

7. Never ever go to KL with a family member esp parents!!!! It's a place to have FUN & get DRUNK with FRIENDS!!!

That's abt it i guess. . . I am so going there again next year!!!
Now time to pack for BANGKOK!!! WoOt!

2003-12-15T02:15:00.000+08:00

Jus got my next term timetable!!! Wohohoho!! No skul for me on Thursdays!!!!! And no more 8 o'clocks on Mondays!
Now i'm starting to like skul!!!

I'm leaving on a tour bus~. . .KL here I come! Great Malaysia Sale here i come!

*I LoVe My aSs* HAH!!

2003-12-13T20:35:00.000+08:00

Finally!!! Got Kill's help to do up my blog! WoOt WoOT!

2003-12-13T15:49:00.000+08:00

2003-12-12T14:44:00.000+08:00

I wear a disguise. I'm just your average Jane. The Super doesnt stand for the model.
That doesnt mean Im plain. If all you see is how i look.
Then you've missed the super chick within.

What i believe today can be different tomorrow.

Don't ask me what is my ultimate contentment for i will not have an answer.

Have you felt a chilling emptiness? While warmed by another body.

2003-12-11T16:33:00.000+08:00

I am such a computer idiot. I smoke WAY too much & daydream WAY too often. Gotta get a grip.

I've been doing surveys after surveys [the chain e-mail ones. the ones u hav 2 ans qns bout urself]
As if i dont noe myself! Riiiiitteee~~
So i'll jus type watever i noe bout myself . . .

naz: wat isit that u do would make urself enjoy?
me: i dunno myself. . .
weird. . .

I am a voracious reader & an intellectual. [HAHA!!] No really, I am an avid reader. My all time fav novel wud be
MIRAGE. I've read it like 3 times. I cant seem to get my hands on the GODFATHER novel though. I love cafes
which possesses GOOD service, scrumptious food and a warm, windy ambience. I hav a forte for photography.
I so so love photography but i dont hav a freaking camera! WoOT!
[I wish i knew how to post the photos i hav taken]
I am eyeing a POLOROID & a 4-LENS camera for my shooting pleasure. The Nikon KoolPix 1700 is way outta
my league [still an amatuer]. Addicted to DIDO & DAYDREAMING! HA! I cud simply daydream endlessly & be happy.
Always daydreaming that I'm some Mob Boss's daughter. Filthy rich, powerful, filthy rich. . .always living in danger.
wOhohohoho!!! I so, so hav to get my hands on the GODFATHER vcd/dvd collection & novel.
Damn. . .let me go daydream now..shall blog later. Toodles now~

2003-12-11T00:44:00.000+08:00

Bleargh!
PMS. PMS. PMS.

Why do I FREAK myself out?
Why do I always ASSUME?
Why can't I just trust?

HAHAHAHAHAHa!!! Still can't get over the episode of Anak Metropolitan 2. Never have I seen such atrocious acting!
GOD!!! Can't believe i actually unwilling concentrated on such crap. HaHAHHAHA!!!

Oh ya. . .K.I. The LOVES of my life. We're only 17 yet we have such sophisticated, matured and deep conversations.
I love you guys till death! Ohhh ya ya...my sis suggested Paris Nite!!! Imagine guys. . . BIG, comfy, purple victorian style
sofas. . .gothic chandeliers. . .dark, shiny parquet floor. . .french, italian, fusion cuisine. . .endless flow of BOOZE. . .
[Chivas baby!]. . .a long bar with bartenders we imagined [YUMMY~]. . .wat more?!?! So much in my mind now. . .
Too much that I cant put it in words. . .n ya. . .JAZZ & BLUES nite. . .FLAMENCO nite. . .REGGAE nite. . .METAL nite. . .
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And and. . .my sis as the door bitch.. .kidman's mum the chef. . .my CUTE cousin the bartender. . .Kidman the jazz singer.
And WE the DIRECTORS!!!!!!!!!!!!
God dammit....I'm gonna pledge my allegiance to K.I. & shall make certain we reach that dream max by the big 30.

Woot! I'm happy just daydreaming~ My only escape from all the harshness of this cruel, cruel werld.

.::K.I::.

2003-12-10T00:55:00.000+08:00

2003-12-10T00:01:00.000+08:00

I can't freaking get over wat happened. This is fucked up. This is SO SO SO fucked up.

Happiness, your smile, your gaze, jus simply you. You, you, you. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Losing Grip - Avril Lavigne
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now i feel INVISIBLE to you,
like I'm not real.
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you,
why'd you turn away.
Here's wat I have to say,
I was left to CRY there, waiting outside there, grinning with a lost stare.
That's when i decided....

WHY SHOULD I CARE?
COS U WEREN'T THERE WHEN I WAS SCARED I WAS SO ALONE
YOU, YOU NEED TO LISTEN I'M STARTING TO TRIP
I'M LOSING MY GRIP & I'M IN THIS THING ALONE

Am I jus some chick you placed beside you TO TAKE SOMEBODY'S PLACE,
When you turn around can u recognize my face
You used to love me, you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't ok
I WAS LEFT TO CRY THERE, WAITING OUTSIDE THERE,
GRINING WITH A LOST STARE
That's when i decided

CRYING OUT LOUD, I'M CRYING OUT LOUD
CRYING OUT LOUD, I'M CRYING OUT LOUD

OPEN YOUR EYES.
OPEN UP WIDE.
WHY SHOULD I CARE?
COS U WEREN'T THERE WHEN I WAS SCARED I WAS SO ALONE
WHY SHOULD I CARE?
COS YOU DON'T CARE THEN I DON'T CARE WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE

2003-12-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

Ergh!
How the fuck do i post pics on this bloody blog???

K.I
Had a wonderful, wonderful time with Kidman & Kill. Far visions we had huh!!
[Restaurant, Bar, Jazz, Flamenco, it goes on...]
We are SO gonna make that dream reality.

I LOVE YOU BUT I HATE YOU.

I love you...I really do. I guess I love you too much that sometimes I feel numb. Sometimes I hate myself for loving you
'cos...I can't think of just 3 simple things that you've done to actually make my heart melt, my stomach flutter,
my cheeks blush or my body shiver. But instead I can only think of 3 'horrible' things that you've done to make me cry,
make me feel so fucking numb, useless & hopeless. But dear I STILL love you. NOT because i'm forcing myself to.
NOT because I HAVE to.
Don't ask me why I love you. I love you because I just do. I love you for all the reasons possible.
I LOVE YOU.
And yes..
it is true that you're the only person...i repeat the only person I've ever loved. And I live by the rule that
A PERSON CAN ONLY FALL IN LOVE ONCE. JUST ONCE.
[divorce. break ups. ex bfs/husband/gf/wife are all mistakes!]
I have never felt like this. NEVER. Not till now. A complex union indeed. I dont and I've never questioned myself for
loving you or being IN love with you. Why?! Cos there's not a need to. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I hope you
feel the same way. Even if somehow we fall apart...remember this. I might stop BEING IN LOVE with you but I'll never stop LOVING you. Just remember watever i wrote in the note i gave you the first time you 'acted'. I mean everything.

For every tear I shed & for every smile I beam. You.

Satisfy you - P.Diddy & R.Kelly
All I want is somebody whose gonna love me for me
Somebody I can love for them
All this money don't mean shit
If you ain't got nobody to share it with
Love rules the world, you feel me

He don't understand you like I do
No he'll never make love to you like I do
So give it to me
Cause I can show you about a real love
And I can promise anything that I do
Is just to satisfy you

When it hurt I ease the pain girl, caress your frame
Get them worries off your brain girl, I'm in your corner
Do what you want, it's your thing girl, I persist and try but
We one in the same girl, it ain't a game
So I can't play with you, I wanna lay with you
Stay with you, pray with you, grow old and gray with you
In good and bad times, we'll always make it through
Cause what we got is true, no matter what they say to you
I could straight lace you, not just appearance
Stimulate your mind, strengthen your spirits
Be that voice of reason when you ain't tryna hear it
You want it but you fear it, but you love it when you near it
Sit her on the sofa, get a little closer
Touch you right, do it like a man's suppose to
Knew you was the one, that's why I chose you
Cause you get down for yours and ride like a soldier

Your soul ain't a toy, you ain't dealing with a boy
Feel emptiness inside? I can fill that void
When you spend time with your woman and listen
It shines more than any bagguette diamond can glisten
I can't impress you with the cars and the wealth
Cause any woman with will and drive can get it herself
I'd rather show you it's heartfelt, make your heart melt
And prove to you you're more important than anything else
Worthwhile, special like my first child
When I see your face it's always like the first time
Our eyes met, I knew we'd be together in a tri-jet
I wanna give you things that I didn't buy yet
Hold you, mold you, don't know, let me show you
Ain't no telling what we could grow to
Let it be known, I told you
And i'mma be there for whatever you go through, my love's true

Don't let him sing you a sad song (no baby)
Waiting for love like this too long
(you don't have to wait, you don't have to wait on him, baby)
All that you need I can give you
(you don't have to wait, you don't have to wait on)
I do, satisfy you
(you don't have to wait on him)

I'm the light when you can't see
I'm that air when you can't breathe
I'm that feeling when you can't leave
Some doubt, some believe, some lie, cheat, and deceive
So it's only you and me
When you weak, I'll make you strong, here's where you belong
I ain't perfect, but I promise I won't do you wrong
Keep you away from harm, my love is protected
I'll wrap you in my arms so you'll never feel neglected
I'll just make you aware of what we have is rare
In the moment of despair, I'm the courage when you're scared
Loyal, down for you, soon as I saw you
Wanted to be there cause I could hold it down for you
Be around for you, plant seeds in the soil
Make love all night, bending bed coils
You're a queen, therefore I treat you royal
This is all for you, cause I simply adore you

This one right here goes out to all my sisters
-------

I remember you dedicating that song to me. But i dont remember you being as sweet as that.
The irony. Oh, the irony.
It could all be so simple but you'd rather make it hard. . .

2003-12-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

Help Me!!!!!

I have no fucking idea how to change the bloody blog skin. I am such an idiot! Ergh!

Dear Kidman & Kill,

You two souls are the loveliest, most wonderful gifts & friends. Sorry for not being in touch for some time now. I jus realised that i have never really spilled out to you two. I've never really shared my troubles nor my joys. But kidman & kill. . . I hav something to tell you about me & Naz. I have never been happier, more overwhelmed and blessed to have him. I hope you two would bless our union and one day I hope you'll meet him. Please, please, please remind me to stay grounded if i'm not being myself.

-------

3 MONTHS & RAWKING BABY !!!

Solitary chaos. . .I love you.

2003-11-29T18:19:00.000+08:00

THERE WILL BE NO WHITE FLAG ABOVE MY DOOR
I'M IN LOVE. ALWAYS WILL BE.
Listen listen listen. Please.
Feel. Feel. Feel. Please.
Forgive forgive forgive. Please.

Never felt this overwhelmed wif a soul before.
Thank You

I believe I really am JINXED.

U...
On Bended Knee - Boyz 2 Men

Darlin' I can't explain
Where did we lose our way
Girl it's drivin' me insane
And I know I just need one more chance
To prove my love to you
If you come back to me
I'll guarantee
That I'll never let you go

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how you get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

So many nights I dream of you
Holding my pillow tight
I know I don't need to be alone
When I open up my eyes
To face reality
Every moment without you
It seems like eternity
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how you get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

Gonna swallow my pride
Say I'm sorry
Stop pointing fingers the blame is on me
I want a new life
And I want it with you
If you feel the same
Don't ever let it go
You gotta believe in the spirit of love
It can heal all things
We won't hurt any more
No I don't believe our love's terminal
I'm down on my knees begging you please
Come home

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how you get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

Wanna build a new life
Just you and me
Gonna make you my wife
Raise a family

White Flag - Dido
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
---------------------------------------------------------

I'm Sorry.

2003-11-20T22:35:00.000+08:00

Not a friend. . .

Sometimes...just sometimes when i'm with you guys & even when i'm not with you guys i still feel left out. It's blind to you but unfortunately glaring to me. What is it that i lack? Is it cos i'm st8 that you can't see thru me? Is it 'cos i seem happy? Is it 'cos of my bragging? I brag to cover the sh*t i'm in. . .Everyday i wear this mask. Everyday i put up a front. . . just so that i SEEM happy. . . just so YOU would trust me. I guess i'm inevitably not your friend. . . But just a friend. Silently bruised. But heck, I still love you guys/gerls. Life is hopelessly meaningless without you two souls. Thank you for wateva. . .

Dear 'Sailor',
Want me, the way i long for you.
Need me, the way i yearn for you.
Explore me, the way you sail the vast ocean.
Hold me, hold me, hold me.

[you know i'm such a fool for you. you got me wrapped ard ur finger ah ha ha-linger]

Flail..flail..flail...falter...falter...falter...Hold me. . .

2003-11-13T02:32:00.000+08:00

SPLURGE

You see the money and the cars, the riches
You think it make me but it really dont
But I, I'm feelin good about myself, so I, I splurge a lil' hell

You think you know me but you really dont. . .

Im feeling good, its only right I deserve
To spread the love through all my peeps, its only right that I splurge

(Today i bought my Hari Raya-cum-Prom shoes : $40.)
Still unsatisfied. . .

2003-11-11T17:05:00.000+08:00

Am I really??

I keep asking myself this. Keep tormenting myself with this dreaded question. Am I Jinxed? I guess I am. Just look at the kinda shit I go through. Bleargh. Unconciousness. . . Plainly foolish, gullible. . .Damn those obsolete players.

Another day, another lie. . .

2003-11-11T16:45:00.000+08:00

Becoming Me. . .